shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
