He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
