It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
