i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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