You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
He felt like a one man threesome
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
