three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
