I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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