My pussy is not your playground.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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