Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
