I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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