remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Randomize
