So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
