I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
