Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
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