the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
