I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
