Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
