I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
