I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
3 2 1 whiskey
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize
