I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Randomize
