Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
