i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
