We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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