I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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