Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
either way he was missing a nipple.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
