Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
