fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
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