Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
