can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
