But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize