the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
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