just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
