I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize