just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize