I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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