2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
