He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
you would pick up someone in the library
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
try to milk me bitch
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
