At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
