i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
