so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
