He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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