Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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