Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
3pm strippers are depressing
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
