Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize