Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize