we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
