One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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