Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
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