apparently the secret to your success is patron
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
