It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
