Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
