i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
what day is it and did you see me today?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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