he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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