he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
