went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Randomize
