"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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