He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize