my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
