She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I have tasted many bathrooms
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
