My nipple is on Facebook.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
