I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
