I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
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