So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize