the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
