Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
