This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize