No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
